I have come to the realization that I am one of those annoying people that has trouble listening because I am too busy formulating what I want to say next. Yeah, by most accounts that makes me a real a$$hole (Sorry I ruin so many conversations, Sarah). So in a fit of self-improving motivation mixed with an equal part self-loathing, I have decided to experiment with shutting up.
Here is the plan for the next week or so:
1) In an effort to listen I will only speak when I am spoken to or if I need to communicate (like if I am in a drive-through or at the bank teller window.
2) Wear headphones and listen to music. This by its very nature is an introverted activity. Also, it is one-way…I can’t communicate back to the music so therefore I am listening. When I listen to music, I feel relaxed, receptive and somehow enriched.
The goal here is to see if there is enough positive reinforcement from results that I can actually change something about myself, something in my personality. I have to admit, the prospect of changing my personality is a bigger challenge than quitting cigarettes or not cracking my knuckles. This is not a habit– this is a part of my personality, ingrained into who I am (or at least who I think that I am).
I’ll update this post in a while to share how it is going/failing/succeeding. I am a little excited and scared to see if I can change something. The thing that worries me the most is that I am frickin’ lazy and I know that it is really easy for me to forget commitments. So, Interwebs, I post this as some sort of contract or public announcement that I am going to try it. Hopefully knowing that this post is out there I will be more likely to do it.
Eek, I’ll check in soon.
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